Yesterday after chemo, while I was eating my captain crunch, Alex interrupted her lecture on my poor eating habits and out of the blue asks me if going through all this treatment is really worth it? So, my first response is to tear up of course, lucky I could pretend to be very interested in my crunch berries   I said well, the past 5 years I've been on one kind of treatment or another, so I have to say yes, it's been worth it to be here for the past 5 years for me and for you:) I wouldn't have wanted to miss them, so I hafta keep doing treatment since it prolongs my life. She worries about me, I can see it, and I'm so grateful she talks to me about it. I really am living on borrowed time, I think about that often, and I think it kinda feeds my denial that anything could really happen to me. Anyway, none of this is to say that 5 years is enough, I can die happy cuz that's certainly not true. I'm just feeling blessed:) thank goodness for Alickus:)