Welcome back! :)

Smile, I haven't kept up well with my blog because not much of interest happening...I've been feeling well and no big scary news to report. :)
I went today for my every 3 month PET scan, had to go to Strong first for my IV, then on to the PET scan place - where my IV promptly fell out.  They tried to put one in, searched everywhere for a vein, were very confident, tried to put it in my FINGER and failed.  Reschedule.  Luckily I have lots of free time next week, and come to find out, they can directly inject the radioactive dye for people like me who have a hard time with veins.  Why didn't they tell me this 5 years ago? Excellent question, I wonder the same, but at least from here on out they will direct inject into a vein instead of having to thread in a catheter. Yippeee:)
I'll report back with news of PET scan results next week. My blood numbers have been steadily increasing since we ended the last chemo and started the hormonal treatment, meaning it's not keeping things under control and I'm pretty sure they will have to put me back on chemo after they see the PET results.  Plus my back hurts, in the same place they're concerned about some spots they saw last time.  Or maybe some lovely radiation? That helped with the pain and prevented spread last time...wait and see what the oncologist says on June 10.  Take care and enjoy the hot weather (from inside with the ac blasting:))

Great news!:)

Doxil is working, doing its job at keeping most of my cancer under control:) we decided today to do one more Doxil treatment today, and then to start on another hormonal treatment called Fulvestrant next month. The reasoning is: my body (specifically my heart) can only handle so much (typically 10 tretments) Doxil or other similar chemos; I've had 3, today is 4th. So we used the Doxil to get control of my cancer; now that it's under control, we can go back to the slower acting hormonal treatment and hope that keeps working longer term. The best news is that my liver lesions have completely resolved, no trace of them on my PET scan from last week. There are 2 spots that seem to be resistant to the doxil, so if the Fulvestrant doesn't work on them, ill probably have to have radiation for those spots. The only complaints I have with the doxil are minor: mouth and throat sores the second to third week after treatment, dry hands and feet throughout, and weight gain from the steroids. Will says "Assept!" , so ill suck it up (or in) as long as its working! Woohoo!!:)

Doxil #3

Happy almost February!:) My favorite month...mostly cuz it's my birthday and because my better half already gave me prezzies!!:) Anthropologie loves me, and I love them.  PLUS my sister in law found a replacement of the beautiful coat i had last year from Anthro and bestowed it upon me as a surprise:) PLUS massage certificates...She's the best!!! (dear leanne and jill, in case this makes you jealous...love you!!)
Anyway, it's Monday, Chemo day, and I'm home now, resting and going back to work tomorrow.  Doxil hasn't been bad, and talking to the NP this morning emphasized that for me; very few side effects, just some nausea and mouth/throat sores.  I got some special numbing medicine this morning in case i get them again.  I did the whole ice on my hands and feet routine and ate 4 edy's popsicles:) in hopes of keeping the chemo from pooling in those areas.  I'm not sure it helps, but I don't want to not do it and have the side effects get me!!
The NP said this morning that one of my markers went up this month, the other one went down. (Puzzled face?) So...definitely not conclusively treating my cancer.  But one more treatment today, see what the numbers look like and a PET scan late Feb to determine if i need to switch to a different chemo.  Really hoping this one is working, it's not so difficult as chemos go, and ideally each treatment works for a lot longer than 3 months...
I'm good, please send all positive thoughts and well wishes to Carolyn's sister this week, in hopes we can ease her journey with this horrible disease just a little.  Fucking cancer.  Also, I just reread Carole Radziwill's "What Remains"...awesome read, but don't be afraid to cry, good reminder that even tho i'm the one with cancer, Will is going through his own experience with all of this and I'm beyond blessed to have him with me.   MWUH!

not so happy

Had my 2nd dose of Doxil on Monday, a shot of Neupogen on Tuesday....and a dose of kick my butt yesterday and today:(
I'm not nauseated, so i really am trying not to be a baby, i know it could be much worse, but my back is  not happy!! It feels like someone removed my spine from my body, cracked it like a whip or one of those pretty ribbons in gymnastics, then put it back in.  Every time i change from seated to standing (which is a lot!!!) or vice versa, it takes my breath away as it ripples around in there.   Goes away after maybe 15-20 seconds.  NOT. HAPPY.
I'm gonna make an appointment for a massage soon, and I have lots of fancy pain relief creams and whatnot to try from my chemo care package:) Plus Suzi and Curt gave me 2 more massage gift certificates - yeehaw:) I love being spoiled.  I don't love being in pain tho, and i guess i've gotten off easy up 'til now...it's funny because at my last dr appt, they asked, as they always do, how my pain level was, and i said it was great! I was actually starting to wonder if i should decrease my pain meds...oopsy, guess not! Thank goodness for pain meds. And loving husbands;)

Sexy Side effects

Hi! Just wanted to check in, let you know that I'm doing well; had a rough couple days but things are looking up today.  Last week I had awful mouth and throat sores, could barely eat (funny, didn't lose a single pound), and it hurt to talk! Took the weekend to recover and am much better now, took a couple days to resolve and now just have a little soreness still when i swallow, but not bad.  My hands and feet are sucking up loads of lotion; i had to take my wedding rings into the jewelers to have them cleaned cuz of all the lotion i apply:) hafta be more careful. I bought special gloves to wear at night, and that coupled with the wrist brace I wear for carpal tunnel, plus the mouth and throat sores - sexy!

I received an amazing Chemo care package from my friends at RIT!!:) So thoughtful and sweet, it made me so happy! I got several kindle books, a blankie with Will and Jennifer stitched on it that I'll bring to my treatments, honey, cough drops, socks for my poor feet, lotions, candy for my sweet tooth, and lots of other little things, PLUS a massage gift certificate from Human Touch Initiative! woohoo!!  Kathy, Kathy, Miriam and Colleen, you're awesome friends and such a great support system for me! Thank you all!!!

I have received 2 other HTI certificates and used them in the past 2 weeks:) Thanks so much to my Dad:) and Cheryl, I can't even begin to explain how much a massage does for me, body and soul, and I'm so grateful for your generosity.  Now I have another one!!!

Oh, i forgot, I went to get my hair cut yesterday, and I'm a source of amazement at the salon:) I had my hair colored about 3 months ago, and somehow I no longer need to have it colored - my natural brown has returned, thank goodness, and i have a couple grays here and there, but no skunk stripe :) and i cant even tell it was colored at all.  Voodoo? i wonder... chemo may make it thin (MORE sexy), but it shouldn't fall out on the current chemo regimen.

So many tragedies in the world and in my world this week...keeps me humble and grateful. Merry Chrsitmas!

Yesterday after chemo, while I was eating my captain crunch, Alex interrupted her lecture on my poor eating habits and out of the blue asks me if going through all this treatment is really worth it? So, my first response is to tear up of course, lucky I could pretend to be very interested in my crunch berries   I said well, the past 5 years I've been on one kind of treatment or another, so I have to say yes, it's been worth it to be here for the past 5 years for me and for you:) I wouldn't have wanted to miss them, so I hafta keep doing treatment since it prolongs my life. She worries about me, I can see it, and I'm so grateful she talks to me about it. I really am living on borrowed time, I think about that often, and I think it kinda feeds my denial that anything could really happen to me. Anyway, none of this is to say that 5 years is enough, I can die happy cuz that's certainly not true. I'm just feeling blessed:) thank goodness for Alickus:)

so far, so good...

At the risk of jinxing myself :) i'm feeling well so far. The infusion was no big deal, only 75 minutes with premeds of dexadron and compazene which seem to be doing their job at keeping nausea at bay.  I had an echocardiogram to check my heart function before they give me chemo, and all was well.  im so healthy, except...:) Thanks for all the good wishes and love - it keeps me going! Will was with me all day, which was all i needed. We are home now i have to go back to the hospital for a shot of Neulasta, which i need to research a little.  I think it's to help my bone marrow make more blood cells but not sure. Am hoping the side effects horror stories i've heard don't apply to little old me. Fingers crossed!