$&@!?&$

Waaaaaaah. The pain in my hip is from the rod that was put in my femur last August. It's broken, bent by the force of walking on it with the fracture. How in the world does titanium break? No idea, I'm still baffled myself. I had an appt with the ortho onco people yesterday, and at first felt like they were going to tell me it was muscular, and needed physical therapy, I was so hoping for that. Then, they called in dr rozier, a big dog, and he put 2 X-rays side by side; one current and the other from right after surgery last year. I could only see a slight difference, but his expert eyes saw more and he felt strongly that the rod had bent and was probably broken. CT scan this am confirmed his suspicions and I'm on crutches, wheelchair to avoid putting any weight on it. It's pretty much impossible, and so painful. I can't believe I hafta have surgery again. Fuck. Have an appt tmw to discuss surgery. I'm assuming ASAP. Why couldn't this happen in the winter when I would just miss work?! I don't wanna change any of my plans for the summer, none of the trips we have planned, I refuse! I'll ride in the rv and sit in my wheelchair if I hafta. Col, you'll help me go potty and shower won't you?! Fuuuuuuuck.