Yesterday after chemo, while I was eating my captain crunch, Alex interrupted her lecture on my poor eating habits and out of the blue asks me if going through all this treatment is really worth it? So, my first response is to tear up of course, lucky I could pretend to be very interested in my crunch berries   I said well, the past 5 years I've been on one kind of treatment or another, so I have to say yes, it's been worth it to be here for the past 5 years for me and for you:) I wouldn't have wanted to miss them, so I hafta keep doing treatment since it prolongs my life. She worries about me, I can see it, and I'm so grateful she talks to me about it. I really am living on borrowed time, I think about that often, and I think it kinda feeds my denial that anything could really happen to me. Anyway, none of this is to say that 5 years is enough, I can die happy cuz that's certainly not true. I'm just feeling blessed:) thank goodness for Alickus:)

so far, so good...

At the risk of jinxing myself :) i'm feeling well so far. The infusion was no big deal, only 75 minutes with premeds of dexadron and compazene which seem to be doing their job at keeping nausea at bay.  I had an echocardiogram to check my heart function before they give me chemo, and all was well.  im so healthy, except...:) Thanks for all the good wishes and love - it keeps me going! Will was with me all day, which was all i needed. We are home now i have to go back to the hospital for a shot of Neulasta, which i need to research a little.  I think it's to help my bone marrow make more blood cells but not sure. Am hoping the side effects horror stories i've heard don't apply to little old me. Fingers crossed!

Doxil, here i come...

Onc finally called me back, they've decided that i should go on Doxil and im going to start the first treatment tomorrow at 1230. i hafta go for an echocardiogram first, then to see the doc and see the PET scan results, then on to treatment. So, send me good vibes!!!

Here we go again...

PET scan results are bad, doc said significant diffuse progression, liver, spine, pelvic bones. NOT what we wanted to hear. So, no more Xeloda, she's considering 3 different meds, taking the time between now and next appointment 11/29 to determine which one best for me.  If you feel like doing some research, I'd love to hear what you find! The 3 options are: Ixabepilone (Ixempra), Eribulin, and Doxil.  Apparently the Doxil is one of the chemos that there has been a recent shortage of (good english i know), so that may be off the table - see what the pharmacy says.   I've been checking my support group website, Inspire.com, for other folks' experience with these drugs, and it sounds like Ixempra is pretty rough on the body. Off to check on the other 2 now.
As always, I need your good vibes:) My numbers were up last week, so i had a feeling this was coming, but it's still shocking to know i've blown thru another treatment, from a limited list of possible meds that keep me alive.  Please keep us in your prayers.  

hiya!

It's been awhile - not much happening cancer-wise, which is always a good thing.  Tomorrow I have a PET scan so seemed like a good idea to ask you all for your prayers. My markers were up at my appointment last week, so i'm kinda going in expecting that the chemo has stopped working.  But not really cuz i live in denial and i figure i'll be fine:) Anyway, tomorrow afternoon around 2ish, send anti cancer vibes my way please.  Thanks!!!